No is Not a Curse Word

Why is it as women we have such a hard time saying no? Is it the nurturer in us? Is it a mindset instilled in us in childhood? We wear many hats- mother, sister, co-worker, friend the list goes on. I once sat down and made a list of all the roles I fill and stopped at 30- that’s a lot of responsibility! Some feel like it is expected of them, some do things from their hearts, and still others do things out of guilt. We need to be needed- but where do we draw the line? We seem invincible to those in our lives (and sometimes we revel in that just a bit- it makes us feel special) and if we flounder it’s like the world is ending. The pressure to perform and achieve is great, but we are only human- we can only do so much. Let that sink in a bit, if you, beautiful, incredible you, are from this planet (and don’t have a superhero suit hiding in your closet somewhere) then you can only do so much. We cannot be all and do all 24/7! The stress this creates is detrimental to your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health.

Yes, I realize that we are in the twenty-first century and life is chaotic- there are activities that the kids go to, work deadlines to meet, and bills that have to be paid. Not to mention helping your friend arrange her daughter’s tenth birthday party, helping your other friend with their taxes, babysitting for the neighbors in the evenings, working on that extra project the boss dropped on you last-minute, and, oh, don’t forget hubby needs you to run his suits by the cleaners and gives you weird looks when you are at the dinner table and announce your must-dos for the evening- which doesn’t happen to include him. Your kids haven’t seen you all day apart from riding in a vehicle to activities while you are on the phone adding more things to your already insane schedule. So, yes, they are eyeballing you as well. Notice that the list doesn’t include anything about you specifically. Take a look at your own schedule- jot down what your average day looks like. Does your schedule include any time blocked out for you? If it doesn’t, then you are in trouble!

It is not a selfish thing to take some time doing things you enjoy. Whether you are reading a book, meditating, or taking a long bath while listening to your favorite music. It is imperative for you to block some time out each day to just be you. It is ok to say no to extra activities. It is ok to say no to always being the one who is arranging and being the consultant. Make that time, pare down your schedule, eliminate what doesn’t absolutely need to be there. Know that your kids do not have to be involved in every available activity. Not only will you be freeing up more family time, but you are teaching them the value of taking time for themselves. An empty cup cannot provide anything, but by taking that time to recharge and renew yourself, you will not only become that full cup again, but you will be more empowered, liberated, and in touch with who you are again.

Take a step back and evaluate your life. Take an honest look at your motivators. Journal your thoughts and feelings and see where you can make positive changes. Make time every day for you activities- even if just for an hour. By digging deep and being honest with ourselves, we can turn stress into bliss! I would love to hear what your favorite you activities are! Please let me know in the comments- and as always- I am here to answer any questions you have!

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